What does it mean to be happy?
Some people think being happy means not having any problems in your life, but the truth is even the happiest of us go thru trials from time to time and run into problems in our daily lives, that’s just a part of life. Being happy doesn’t mean not having to deal with problems.
I was stuck in a loveless, verbally abusive marriage for 15 years and I was still able to find happiness in the things that I enjoyed.
Real happiness comes from your heart, it’s when your heart is calm even while dealing with the tough situations.
Not to say that you won’t feel some sadness or anger or any other unpleasant emotions, but you won’t be overwhelmed by those emotions. And you can still focus on the important things that need your attention.
The secret to a happy heart is knowing that whatever you’re going thru is happening for a reason. Now you don’t need to know the reason, your main focus should be on how to deal with it and move on. Don’t ask why, It doesn’t matter because even if you knew “WHY”, it will not change you situation, the fact is it happened. You just need know how to deal with it. Sometimes you won’t have the answers, so you have to ask someone or do a little research. But by any means necessary, do what you gotta do to deal with the problem and move on.
Another way to achieve happiness is knowing what you can control and what you can’t control. A lot of times we freak out about things that we can’t control, that we forget about the things we can control and what we can do to better our situation. Again, sometimes you wont have the answers, but that’s ok just ask someone for guidance.
The best thing you can do when you’re stuck in an unpleasant situation, is to think about the things you are grateful for.
We all have at least one thing in our lives, rather it be someone or something, that we are grateful for, if not more.
The second most important thing is to know what you can control and do something about it immediately as hard as it may seem, because the longer you wait to do them the harder they will be for you to do.
As for those things that you can’t control, like the future or someone else’s actions, they aren’t for you to worry about. That’s where faith comes in, leave those things to God.
The less you worry about them, the less they will bother you and the more you leave to him, the less things you have to stress about.
A strategy you can use when you run into a problem, or a situation is self talk and journaling.
1. Take 3 deep breathes
2. Tell yourself whatever you need to, to make yourself feel better
3. Write down or name some things you are grateful for
4. Write down 1-3 things you can control, like your reaction or immediate things you can do to better the situation
And know this, what doesn’t kill you, ONLY makes you stronger. Meaning if it doesn’t kill you, then it is meant to make you stronger the next time you end up in a similar situation. Because for sure you will.
“Life will not change for sure, life will not change if you’re not there
Everybody has things they wish to not recall, some rain must fall
Life changes go up and down, you never know until it comes around
We try to smile thru the good and bad, depend on your faith to keep away the sadness
The journey is long the road rough, faith and hope will be enough
Don’t waste a day with anger and regret, keep joy in your heart, your needs will be met
We are all so different and yet the same, everyone in one way or another will experience a kind of pain”
-Daria Erin Ismayl